naughty goats get the noodle horns

I go to take Mac (Asian water monitor) out for a tour and since he’s sopping wet I want to towel him off. My boss gave me a towel with the Minions on it for this task.

So when I’m first taking him out he freezes. I’m thinking, “okay, is he stuck?” and help him down. Then I see he’s clamped onto the towel.

Eh??? Did someone wipe up rat juice with that towel? I thought it was clean. He won’t let go. I holler for my boss. “Oh sorry I forgot.” Forgot what?

“He hates the Minions. He always does that to this towel.”

So I’m explaining to the tour trying not to keel over laughing the reason we can’t take Mac out is because of his hatred for the Minions.

He eventually let go for a cockroach but that was a good 10 minutes of latching and whipping the towel. I feel you, man. I hate them too.

jasonptodd:

this frog keeps coming by my coworker’s house and eating their cat food

skarchomp:

skarchomp:

skarchomp:

the Komodo Dragon is the biggest, strongest, most dangerous apex predator that is physically incapable of looking at all threatening

i could conceivably be torn to pieces and eaten alive by these things and my last words would be “lmao”

me on my way to bring down an elk twice my size using deadly bacteria that grows on my fangs

morathor:

tastefullyoffensive:

The goatpocalypse is upon us. (via KTVBJoe)

Updates have since come on this subject; we now know where the goats came from and I gotta tell you, it is better than you could possibly imagine. See.

These goats got loose from a goat rental service.

You may be thinking, who rents a goat? Who rents a hundred goats? What are they for?

They’re for eating.

Specifically, they’re for eating unwanted, flammable vegetation that can contribute to the spread of wildfires. Some people whose property tends to grow such vegetation, keep their own goats. But for some people it works out better to just rent some goats.

So.

These are Professional Eating Goats. They are trained to thoroughly and methodically scour an area of plantlife. And they came to the suburbs.

And they did their jobs.

I’m so proud of them.

ramblefandom:

justnoodlefishthings:

kennethhyvel:

catmeme:

catmeme:

catmeme:

i really really love when animals lay on their back and their paws do that thing

the front paws. i love that

its just very good

peep

butchfirefly:

deus-est-bae:

the-finalpam:

😀

speeding sand dollar

i love her

Get ready for this beefy boy

cryoverkiltmilk:

Here’s the beefy boy.

talkativetiad:

obeekris:

losethehours:

Moves as smoothly as an ocean liner.

I couldn’t tell what it was at first, but that wasn’t what I was expecting

i thought it was an otter, then i thought it was a shark, and let me say i was wrong both times