vampire-crimson:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

The first rule of Fight Club is: A member may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

The second rule of Fight Club is: A member must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the first rule.

ship im pretty sure youre thinking of robot rules not fight club rules

no the First Law of Robotics is: you do not talk about robotics

vampireapologist:

there’s a post going around about mixing nyquil with 5 hour energy and I’m thinking about the time my parents were both out of town and my brother was in charge of dropping me off at school and I must’ve been 15 or 16 and I was really miserably sick so he gave me nyquil and but the time we were pulling up to the school I was crashing so his friend who was driving said ‘I have a redbull in the glove compartment” and they said “drink it and it’ll like even it out” so I did and I walked into school at 7:30 AM

and then immediately the last bell rang and school was over.

potion seller, I’m going into school and I need your STRONGEST dissociation

writana:

this is still probably my favorite interaction i’ve had on youtube

the best way to save money is to act broke

elionking:

“act” broke

axleheart:

boymilk:

buhbee:

buhbee:

i make 1 typing error

One.

ryannightnightbergara:

ryannightnightbergara:

the height of men’s fashion was whatever the hell was going on with pants and collared shirts in the 70s

we’re never going to beat this so can we please just stop trying

kylesquips:

kylesquips:

If you wanna date a milf you gotta play the long game fellas

Step one: get a gf

Step two: wait

grimm-jimm:

ferretgalaxii:

porko-rosso:

chefpyro:

you: thesis

me: hot take

*starts my dissertation with “I was gonna post a hot take but yall ain’t ready”*

Cruel Angel’s Hot Take

“Martin Luther’s 95 Hot Takes”