WHOM’ST

pochowek:

Y’AIN’T’D’VE

THOU’M’STN’T’VE

weavemunchers:

imagine if your fridge did what you do to it everyday, every half hour goes to your room opens the door and stares at you for 5 minutes then leaves

yelnatszeroni:

Sometimes you just gotta quit being a pussy and throw down

borisgf:

British person: says anything

Me: Peppa Pig

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

There are red bananas that taste sweet, creamy, and a little bit like raspberries. Source Source 2

cptainflint:

me: logs into gmail from a different computer

my phone, having a nervous breakdown: if you don’t confirm your identity in the next ten seconds i’m gonna shoot your whole family and then myself

snorlaxatives:

carlyclaw:

snorlaxatives:

it’s literally 2016 why did i just come across a buzzfeed video about snacks that “only 90s kids will recognize” like….. i watched the video and one of the snacks was literally a can of coke….. they poured a can of coke into a glass…

But did you recognize it?

i……….. did…………

mamiinaandthediamonds:

cheesymovie:

why take the lords name in vain when u COULD have the vocabulary of a baseball playing kid from the 40s

“It’s nice to find that little American boys do really say ‘Gee whiz.’“–J.R.R. Tolkien, on receiving a letter from an American fan, 1944.

bluandorange:

writerlymagic:

writing-prompt-s:

The zombie outbreak started 2 years ago now you find yourself cornered by a decaying zombie when you do the unthinkable and bite it first when it falls to the floor and grows its skin back and sits up and asks what is going on

This may be the best subversive idea for zombie apocalypse stories i think I’ve ever seen.

“How the fuck did you know that would work?”

“I didn’t, dude, I just fucking panicked.”

mediumsizedboy:

sweethoneysempai:

mediumsizedboy:

The red pointed “hat” on a gnomes head is actually a venoumous stinger

That’s a lie, I’m touching the point of the hat right now and

Rest in Fucking Pease…