not to sound like jane austen or anything but if ur fic is labelled slow burn those two fucks better not even touch pinkies until like chapter 57 by the time they are even in a room alone together i want to be half dead of blueballs and i want their heated gazes to revive me im js
why would you say “not to sound like jane austen” and then quote her directly
Waiter, about to reveal that the poor groom’s bride is a whore: Oh you haven’t heard?
the number of people making comments on this post about how there’s nothing wrong with being a whore is far too high like i’m not trying to shame people who are promiscuous or sex workers this is a fucking reference to a song and if you dont understand the reference dont reblog with some idiotic trying too hard to be progressive shit its literally a joke about a lyric from a song it was never, and never will be, that fucking deep. if you dont get the reference literally just shut up and dont reblog this post oh my god
can you believe after so many years of using french’s “c’est la vie” because the nuance doesn’t translate, we’ve finally obtained a flawless translation with “that’s just the way it is on this bitch of an earth"
Wanna make a Jurassic Park parody called Cambrian Aquarium where it’s just the exact same plot but instead of dinosaurs it’s a bunch of marine invertebrates from the Cambrian
I want to point out that they don’t kill people. Instead you get scenes like:
“Sir, the security systems are all shutting down!”
[cut to a shot of a bunch of trilobites scuttling around on the floor]
i had a dream where tornadoes were made illegal or something i just remember like a dozen police cars driving directly toward a tornado with their sirens on and all getting sucked into the tornado
well i guess this is it 