As an atheist, putting my hand on the Bible and saying an oath before testifying to a court is less likely to get me to tell the truth than a pinkey promise
When my parents were fighting for custody, I was old enough to have a say, so they put me under oath to assure I was being honest with my feelings. Using my best serious face, knowing what was coming, when offered the bible to swear on, I requested to swear on the secretary’s hole punch, “because it’s far more honest. It says it’s going to punch a hole, and it does, best God I’ve seen today.” My mom buried her face in her hands, my dad sighed and rubbed his forehead. The judge almost choked on his water before telling the bailiff “find this young lady a hole punch!”
whys everyone on this site a compulsive liar
and all the lawyers clapped
Statistically speaking one of these dumb ass stories is gonna turn out to be true one day and we’ll all look like huge assholes
even if this one is true the person telling it is still the asshole
if this is true the custody fight turned into who the hell was gonna be stuck with the little protofedora Little Sheldon headass rather than who wanted the little shit more
“a no-sex bar sounds like a superb idea” do you think people just fuck in bars. like you go into a bar theres just a fucking wild orgy happening on the tables and like one guy on the side drinking
Perhaps its meant in the asexual way, like, make friends or something?
go to a coffee shop??? join a club????? leave the house???????
nah okay, fuck that you’ve clearly never experienced a night where you’re walking around a downtown core like “where is everybody????” and then get to a club and it is PACKED and you realize this is it. this is where everyone goes, this is where everybody is.
and you walk around and get a drink and realize All of the people are here to have sex. you can see it in their eyes. they are there to have sex, or there because their friends are having sex, or because they want to look like they’re someone who has sex. everyone is at the club, and everyone is there for sex, and if you’re not about that you have a lot of work to do if you’re going to be part of any social group.
then again people on this site are absolutely in love with interpreting everything with the express purpose of mocking it, so yeah get your bits in.
we need asexual grocery stores too last week i went to walmart and a lady was putting a king size snickers bar up her pussy
pomegranates are proof that god exists and is a sadist
would a kind and loving god make the most delicious fruit in the world have the tiniest ratio of flesh vs pith? would evolution produce a fruit whose seeds are meant for dispersal, yet are encased in an impenetrable leathery rind? god is real and god hates us
well i guess this is it 