So apparently Alchemy is a subject taught at Hogwarts and I bet all the muggleborn students have a fuckin field day with that one like can you imagine
Some poor, unsuspecting Hogwarts professor: Alright class, welcome to your first Alchemy lesson. Now, can anyone tell me what alchemy is?
Every muggleborn student in haunting unison: Alchemy is the science of understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter. However, it is not an all powerful art. If one wishes to obtain something, something of equal value must be lost. This “equivalent exchange” is alchemys first law…
anyway, harry potter Concept where down the road the boy who lived thing becomes less relevant and most people know him from the pictures of when he was a teenager, so by the time he’s middle aged all of harry’s interactions play out exactly like that tony hawk tweet
i’m still PISSED about harry potter leaving draco to die because “oh boo hoo there aren’t enough seats in this minivan someone has to stay behind” like you fool. you fucking fool. i’ve ridden to walmart and back in an 11-person shuttle seating 17 people just bc i didn’t wanna wait to get some skim milk. are you really telling me that you couldn’t put a dude in the trunk for the sake of getting away from a collapsing island? you worried about not having enough seat belts??? people died bc of your poor minivan management skills, harry
i drafted this in a blind rage immediately upon waking up today and i may have misremembered some plot points of the Harry Potter series
well i guess this is it 