sweetcarnality:

biandhellafly:

tumbldore-the-pinelample:

m-to-the-6th-power:

runofthemillsocialist:

sapphicscaly:

autisticsamusaran:

sapphicscaly:

fallout4kin:

lizardexposer:

unstabledragon:

lizardexposer:

thirtythreethirtyfive:

lizardexposer:

runofthemillsocialist:

bibliotheksbewohnerin:

things that still freak me out: those sinks americans have in their kitchens that you can destroy stuff with

Honestly this post has been on my mind all day. Those weird destructosinks for people with too much money are apparently common in America. And Americans get defensive over them.

Well don’t come crying to me when your wean gets eaten by the fucking kitchen sink.

hOLY SHIT WHAT IF U TRY AND CLEAN THE PLUG AND TURN IT ON IM SO SCARED

Okay it took me for-fucking-ever to figure out wtf you guys are talking about are you talking about garbage disposals?
Like down the drain??

with the spinny knives

No knives, just a dull piece of spinny metal.

you realise it takes the same amount of force to cut thru a carrot as a finger

i dont know what you do over there but we usually don’t stick our hands in our sink drains

who’s going around fisting sinks anyway

“don’t come crying to me when your wean gets eaten by the fucking kitchen sink”

is that person saying they fuck kitchen sinks? is that what I just read? they put their dick in the sink’s drain and they fuck it?

dont sinkshame

Child. Wean means child.

Okay, so you put your CHILD in a sink and stuff them down the drain? That’s… that’s definitely worse.

Some people bathe their small children in the kitchen sink rather than using the bath tub.

you have to plug the drain to do that….

sometimes tumblr really out does itself.

thadeeliv:

starkillerrx:

armoredsoftie:

i love to headcanon steve as this aggressively progressive dude but like, he begged to be part of the us army,,,,,, we can’t just Forget That

He joined to literally fight Nazis the fuck you on about?

Minecraft lore is deeper than i remember

iwilleatyourenglish:

iwilleatyourenglish:

rebecca hazelton is a published writer but can’t even manage to write convincing dialogue for a toddler

truly amazing

this is my favorite response to her bullshit tweet

nest:

necromin:

genderists:

necromin:

genderists:

TV show: This is a TV show called Shits&Farts. It is about shits, & farts. The main characters are two men named Shit, & Fart. They tell shit & fart jokes to each other for the whole twenty-minute runtime.

at least one person you follow on tumblr, instantly: omfg im WITHERING from last nights ep….. the dynamic between shit & fart is so fucking  tense and erotic……im still fucking sobbing i hate my sweet babies….. why do they treat each other like this im fucking BATHING IN ACID….. its so good…….. im EMBALMING MYSELF and then DESECRATING MY OWN CORPSE…..

you sound like a fun person to be around op

i’ve struck a nerve in the shits&farts fandom

so how do you feel about autistic people op

AKKSJDHSNWNDHSJJSHDHDJSDHDIDJENDBDKKSJFKFJGJR

darkmagepoppers:

has-claws:

hotboyproblems:

i want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant 

Deodorant is nasty. What do y’all think people smelled like up until 70 years ago??

Bad.

angel-baez:

wearejustvisiting:

chefpyro:

angel-baez:

angel-baez:

Why in the fuck are they rebooting alf

Like who was the dumbass at Warner bros who thought “yknow what the world really needs right now? A reboot of this furry phallic nosed monstrosity”

Here’s your reminder that every single cast member hated Alf so much one guy attacked the actual fucking puppet

Remember Alf? He’s back.

remember that on his home planet there’s a holiday named fappiano. 

it’s CALLED WHAT

norcani:

my guess for the next big tumblr scam is “my wife, my wife and me” poly lesbian spin off to mbmbam. It raises 50k and then it turns out the creators aren’t even dating. One of them is a straight woman married with kids. One of the kids has a tumblr and is bullied, people make psas to leave him alone but then it turns out it was a troll account.